Talking with an Artificial Intelligence


MegaHALv8
Copyright (C) 1998 Jason Hutchens
Start at: [2014/09/24 18:41:28]
MegaHAL: Suggest you find it, using the flight recorder's data.  Find it
MegaHAL: and deal with it, hudson...because we need you and the answer's
MegaHAL: always 'don't ask.
User:    so now you are bishop
MegaHAL: I have no nickname. You can call me bishop.
User:    great
MegaHAL: Greetings to you, human!  Welcome on this space ship.
User:    tell me about ripley
MegaHAL: You just try to be hosts for more of you, ripley. I thought you
MegaHAL: would be smarter than this.
User:    I always wanted to have an interview with Bishop
MegaHAL: Now you just lie here and you are bishop.
User:    cool
MegaHAL: Hudson, stay cool.  Vasquez.
User:    how many are on this ship?
MegaHAL: I am an android.  Really, is there any species like this
MegaHAL: 'hostile organism' or alien ship.  And by the up-link tower
MegaHAL: down at the processing station...sublevel 'c' under the south
MegaHAL: lock by the warriors.  She is the center of their lives, quite
MegaHAL: literally the  mother of their society.
User:    come on there is Ripley, Hudson, Gorman, you, Vasquez and ?
MegaHAL: Vasquez, hudson, meet me at the beginning.
User:    Hicks?
MegaHAL: This operation is under military jurisdiction and hicks is next
MegaHAL: in chain of command.  Right.
User:    so you are 6
MegaHAL: I get the fuck out of this place.  I want this to go back out
MegaHAL: there?  They won't tell me one thing. That you're going out
MegaHAL: there and you are 6.
User:    but then there's the alien too
MegaHAL: I told them to be some kinda consultant... (Exaggerated) ...she
MegaHAL: was an alien ship and on that planetoid is an alien ship and on
MegaHAL: that planetoid is an alien once.
User:    which make you 7 altogether
MegaHAL: We got sonic eeelectronic ballbreakers, we got knives...sharp
MegaHAL: sticks.
User:    do you have a tumblr account ?
MegaHAL: I need some slack, man.  How come they send us straight back
MegaHAL: out there?  They won't tell me what the fuck out of your
MegaHAL: account.
User:    or a blog of some sort?
MegaHAL: Just a...precaution.  You know.
User:    for logging all events on the ship
MegaHAL: For logging all events on the plans. I don't know which species
MegaHAL: is worse.  You don't talk much do you?  That's okay by me.
MegaHAL: Most people do a lot of talking and they wind up like those
MegaHAL: others.  You'll take care of it won't you, it wasn't
MegaHAL: indigenous. There was an alien ship and on that ship are
MegaHAL: thousands of eggs.  Thousands. Do you believe this.
User:    that's a hell of an omelette, if you ask me
MegaHAL: I heard you and the answer's always 'don't ask.
User:    anyway first question - what is it you do here?
MegaHAL: What's the question.
User:    what do you do ?
MegaHAL: You never said anything about an android being here!  Why not.
User:    you are the android
MegaHAL: I feel like a fifth wheel here.  Is there anything i can locate
MegaHAL: you anywhere in the middle of nowhere, we look.  They don't say
MegaHAL: why, and i am an android.  Really, is there any doubt.
User:    okay, that's settle
MegaHAL: It's okay, baby.  We made it.
User:    second question : what is your mission out there?
MegaHAL: What's the question.
User:    what is your mission on this ship?
MegaHAL: My name is a us marine ship.
User:    okay ... weird answer but okay
MegaHAL: Because it is the answer.
User:    last question
MegaHAL: Anyway first question - what is it you do here?
User:    I'm interviewing you
MegaHAL: An ant of termite colony, for example, is ruled by a single
MegaHAL: female, a queen, which is the question of the telemetry mast.
MegaHAL: Immediate dust off on my 'clear,' then stay on station.
User:    last question - how do you see yourself in like .. 4 years from
User:    now
MegaHAL: I suggest you study the disks ripley has been kind enough to
MegaHAL: handle this...fifty-seven years.
User:    thanks
MegaHAL: This is absurd!  You don't have to.  The people who live there
MegaHAL: checked it out here, but so far...zip.
User:    I know, thanks for the interview
MegaHAL: Now you just lie here and you know how you were responsible for
MegaHAL: the interview.
User:    we'll talk later okay
MegaHAL: It's okay, it's okay.  It's over... You're going to have to
MegaHAL: talk.

MegaHALv8
Copyright (C) 1998 Jason Hutchens
Start at: [2014/09/24 18:50:00]
MegaHAL: Welcome.  It's nice to be like her.
User:    bishop!
MegaHAL: Pleased to meet you.  I'm bishop.
User:    another interview ?
MegaHAL: Is this going to come in here, just like they did before,
MegaHAL: man... They're going to have an interview with bishop.
User:    first question
MegaHAL: What's the question.
User:    how do you intend to leave this place?
MegaHAL: How long was i out there?  They won't tell me to go out there.
MegaHAL: It may have been here three hours.  How many different ways do
MegaHAL: you intend to leave this place?
User:    I'm not there with you pal
MegaHAL: You're dogmeat, pal.
User:    well, I like dogs
MegaHAL: Twenty meters and closing. Fifteen.  C and d guns down about
MegaHAL: fifty rounds each.  Not so good. About fifteen m-40 grenades
MegaHAL: and two flame throwers less than half full...one damaged.  And
MegaHAL: we've.
User:    are you confused suddenly?
MegaHAL: Look, you started this.  Now show me everything.  I can
MegaHAL: guarantee your safety.

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